Why I Didn't Share My Pregnancy

Last Updated on September 18, 2021 by JaimeSays

If you follow me on social media, you’ll have seen my big announcement: my husband and I welcomed our first child in August! It has been a memorable, emotional first month as we adjust to our newest family member, and it has been pretty terrific! To many of my close friends and people who have seen me in the last four or so months, this is no surprise, but many people were surprised and/or confused as to why I wasn’t shouting from the rooftops about my great blessing.

Sensitivity to Those Suffering with Infertility

After receiving an endometriosis diagnosis approximately a year and a half after first trying to conceive, I had a lot of emotions about why it took till I was nearly 35 years old to receive a diagnosis. If I had known that I had endometrosis sooner, would I have been able to address and expect infertility issues earlier? It got tough seeing pregnancy and birth announcements for people online, and even baby showers for loved ones brought with them a twinge of “when-will-it-be-my-turn” thoughts. While my joy at the announcements of my loved ones was truly sincere, so was the sadness when mere acquaintances shared their big news.

Of course, throughout the wait of my pregnancy, I encountered numerous friends and women who were also struggling to conceive. Intimately knowing the pain of every new pregnancy announcement, I didn’t want to contribute to that for them.

Wine and Spirit Commitments

Throughout the nine months of pregnancy, I continued to work with wine and spirits brands and study wine. I even had the opportunity to attend an in person wine tasting and educational event with Maremma Toscana, Wines of Tuscany. While in person, I obviously had to explain why I wasn’t drinking any of the wine we were tasting, which was easy to do! With at home tastings, I had to lean on my sense of smell, and occasionally, the taste buds of my friends and family. I also was invited on an awesome media trip to experience Door County in the summer, but I was well into my third trimester and the long drive was out of the question.

Residual PTSD

I’ve mentioned it before, but I previously struggled with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. As an Advanced Maternal Aged woman, you are at a higher risk for complications. My doctor is quite conservative, so after contracting Covid during my first trimester, she put me on a strict no exercise other than walking, and no air travel regimen. I had to stop going to my rowing classes and abandon any wishes of a tropical babymoon. Side note: it did allow me to get over to Columbus, Indiana after having it on my bucket list! After our many attempts at pregnancy, failed previous IVF transfer, and my relationships with women who have had extremely late term miscarriages or stillborn children, the signs of PTSD slowly began seeping into my life. I did not want to experience heightened fear, anxiety, or anger because of a desire to keep up with social media, and so I chose to remain quiet.

So there you have it. I think there are some things that are best kept private, whether they are good or bad. I’m sorry that I don’t have more photos of myself pregnant to share with my child when he is older, but such is life. Now, on to some of the things that I have learned I should have had at home, and some of the things I wished I’d done differently in the nursery.

Wearing my favorite Soma PJs, my JBL Wireless Headphones, and Eye Mask as Both Thomas and I Struggle to Nap.

Items That Were Essential During Recovery and the First Month at Home

Medline Perineal Cold Pads, Pack of 24
Frida Mom Post Partum Essentials Recovery Kit (Someone sent me this via Amazon and I don’t know who it was, but God Bless Them!)
Stay Cold Single Handed Water Bottle (My Pelican water bottle requires two hands, one to hold and one to unscrew, and I only have one hand available at while nursing.)
Colace
Silk Eye Mask
Several Pairs of Button Down Pajamas (I like all things SOMA)
Several Affordable Button Down Tops
Nursing Bras
Pumping Bras
Cool Gel Breastfeeding Pads (2 pairs, so one is chilling in the fridge while you wear the other)
Footstool for Your Rocker or Glider

Now regarding the footstool, and discussing a couple of practicalities in the nursery. If you are reading this and expecting, make sure that even if you have a recliner glider or rocker, you get a foot stool. For breastfeeding, it is essential. I also recommend having two side tables, one on either side of your nursing chair/recliner, as you will certainly want to have options for a place to put water, snacks, your phone etc. based on with which arm you are holding your baby.

I started writing this blog post two weeks ago, but because my little man is not a big fan of daytime naps, and because I had not yet purchased a comfortable wearable carrier–hot take: the Ergo 360 is not good–it took me until today to finish. The life of a new mom!